so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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