also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
