What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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