That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
