i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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