i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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