I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
