someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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