We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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