Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
