Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
