Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
