She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
