you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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