so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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