I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
