I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
