As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
