I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
