how hairy? two words: wookie tits
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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