Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
