i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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