isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
