So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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