yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
