My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Let's get the cat blown out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
