mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
