told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize