Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
