idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
