Christians are straight up FREAKS
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
