I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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