So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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