Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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