he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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