Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
