party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
