is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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