Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
