the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I sprained my soul last night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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