Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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