i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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