I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
