I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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