also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
