where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
