Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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