I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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