My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
