I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
