Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
