Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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